Helping children with bipolar deal with failure sets them up for success; here’s how to help:
Validate their feelings
It’s tempting to want to minimize feelings of disappointment for kids in an attempt to cheer them up and divert their attention elsewhere. However, remember children may need some comfort before thinking about other alternatives. More importantly, the more practice he gets in learning to experience, and tolerate, disappointing and distressing feelings, it becomes less difficult the next time. The best thing to do is to validate their experience and provide comfort.
Reprioritize what really matters
While we want our children to accomplish great things—whether that’s high grades or overall happiness—we may be sending the wrong message, perhaps through out own behavior. Instead of a pressure to succeed, try to instill a sense of character and empathy and caring for others above all else.
Make it ok to fail
Without experience to strengthen a resilience muscle, adolescents will often be afraid to fail. However, as adults, we realize that failure is a great learning experience, especially if we have someone supporting us so we can stand back and reassess things and create a new game plan. The only way to develop resiliency is through failure and how we deal with it. The best thing we can do is make it safe for children to fail and start again.
Let them learn
It’s ok to want to protect our kids from distressing experiences, but if we do this too long, it will impede their ability to be able to roll with the punches. When we intervene it also sends a message we don’t have confidence in their ability to deal with certain situations. Children need to be able to handle situation and problem solve so they can build up confidence they will be able to handle things in the future.
Sources: “Help Kids Deal With Rejection,” childmind.org
I’m an expert in bipolar management, yet I still have frequent mood swings and deal with symptoms regularly. Shouldn’t I have “solved” this by now? Shouldn’t I have “recovered”? Bipolar Disorder, Expertise, & Mood Management I’ve been writing books about bipolar disorder management since 1998, and my webpage started in 2002. How is it possible...
Bipolar depression can make me feel like I am a failure. After sitting with this feeling so regularly, I began to recognize small steps that help the heaviness and negativity fall away and clear the lenses of my usual rose-colored glasses. Bipolar Disorder & Feeling Like a Failure I can sometimes feel like a complete...
Mood symptoms such as overspending, hypersexuality, anger attacks, and self-isolation hurt those around us. A simple apology is just the starting point of making things right. When Our Actions during Bipolar Mood Episodes Harm Others Olivia S. of Colorado got up one morning to unexpectedly find two of her four grown children in her living...
With bipolar disorder, we’re more likely to become overdependent on our digital devices. Here’s how personal tech can affect our moods—plus tips for self-protection. Are we too attached to our digital devices? That question has been debated for almost as long as the iPhone has been around, giving rise to the first National Day of...