Taking Yourself On: Stop Caring About What Others Think
We don’t need our own thinking being ruled by outside influences––whether that be friends, family, or coworkers. It’s time we let go of our need for outside validation, and find it within ourselves instead.
We live in a world that cares too much about what others think. We are sometimes more concerned with other people’s thoughts than our own. This comes from being conditioned to seek outside validation and approval. For children, seeking outside validation is necessary, but for adults, it is not. So we have to steer our thought process away from caring about what others think towards serving our highest good.
In taking on the importance of what others think, it takes awareness, commitment and determination. Now, this does not mean to disregard people’s opinions, assertions or their words. It doesn’t mean I don’t care about the person, their needs or their opinion. What it means is that I am going to stop prioritizing other people’s perspective. I need my thoughts focus on my own perspective. A rule of thumb is unless they express their thoughts to me, I’m not going to think, wonder, guess or even concern myself with what others think. At all. In any way. For my mental wellbeing, clarity and happiness. Because I know this creates problems.
Since we can never guess what people are thinking, a lot of the time we project our own thought processes onto what we assume other people must be thinking. And even if we think we know what others are thinking, we can’t verify or confirm. As you take on this flaw, you’ll see it’s nothing but wasted thoughts that don’t help us in our happiness. It is actually quite disempowering, it negatively affects your experience, and it weakens our decision making confidence. When we care about what others think, we cannot be focused on our own thinking. And which is more important? Where should our focus be? Our focus needs to be on our thought processes so we learn to navigate our mind. So you want to always take your mind off of what others think and keep your mind on the thoughts that serve you. Don’t worry about anyone else’s thinking but your own.
Let not caring about what others think become a boundary you do not cross. Personally, what people think of me is none of my business. People have their own thoughts, and I have mine. When I focus on their thoughts, it actually messes up my focus on my own thoughts––and I want to focus on my thinking only. This helps to create clarity in the mind and cultivate respect for differing opinions.
Changing thought processes is not easy. It takes diligence, persistence and is a tedious process of monitoring your thoughts for reframing and correction. You have to commit to change with all you have––you cannot be inconsistent in your approach. Every time you find yourself thinking about what others think, you have to self-correct. To have success in changing this thought process, you literally have to run the old thought process out of your mind and replace with the new thought process. What I found is that we actually make up a lot of thoughts we don’t even need so it helps to start to recognize this so we can stop perpetuating this unconscious practice. We were conditioned to care what others think and we can retrain the mind to stop this by steer the mind to stop perpetuating. And for clarity again, it’s not actually about people say that we want to address (that’s a different post), it’s the thinking we create in the mind where we are concerning ourselves with the opinions of others over our own. This thought process is between you and the mind, not anyone else. What a person says, we do care and we need effective coping skills for that. What we don’t need is our own thinking being ruled by outside influence. That’s what we want to change.