“I AM A HOT MESS”

Last Updated: 1 Jul 2020
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Courtesy of Rheumatoid Arthritis

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Every tendon, muscle, organ, joint, and nerve on fire with raw pain. Fighting a chronic physical illness can be real torture when you’re already at war with Bipolar Disorder. Yep. Flu-like symptoms with fever for days/weeks/months. So now I have to juggle medication (steroids, etc) that won’t interrupt the balance of my BP medication. It’s truly not your grandmother’s disease. Autoimmune diseases come in many forms and affects every inch of the body. I can remember singing in front of hundreds of people with crisp and clear vocal chords. However, nowadays, if my larynx isn’t inflamed when RA visits, I sing to my camcorder and put it on “YouTube” for my “audience”. If anyone out there can relate to being “a hot mess” and would like to inform people of a list of things not to say related to your condition, here’s a link:

About the author
Candee was diagnosed with bipolar disorder a little over 10 years ago. Long before that, she tried to tell anyone who would listen, that something in her brain wasn't wired right. Her parents said she was being dramatic; her siblings got a kick out of her being the family clown, bouncing off the walls; her friends, emphatically said: "Oh no girlfriend, you don't fix that, you ride it like the wind!" So she did....then BAM! Out of the blue, she ran into what felt like a wall of nails. Awaiting her was a nasty bout of depression crippling her for a long time. After finding the right treatment things slowed down a bit and she’s back on her feet...in a relative sense. There are no "typical days" for a BP warrior - it's a lazy river or a tightrope. She is somewhat grounded by her husband of 26 years, her teenaged daughter and her Shetland Sheepdog. Oh, and the other "elephant in the room:" Rheumatoid Arthritis. Stay tuned.

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