It’s extremely tough to not be jealous when you see someone achieve what you may not––or never––do because of the limitations of bipolar disorder.
It’s so hard to be generous when you feel terrible.
It’s hard to be happy for others when you’re unhappy.
It’s hard not to be jealous when you see someone get what you don’t have.
It’s hard to say, ‘I’m so proud of you! Good job! You deserve it! I’m happy for you!”
…..when you fell like your world is falling apart because of bipolar disorder.
But guess what, you can change- even when you don’t feel like being kind, loving and supportive, you can do it.
When I’m jealous of a friend’s success, I first have to look inside myself and see where the jealousy comes from- it usually comes from unhappiness and loneliness in my own life.
So, if I deal with myself first, I can decrease the jealousy.
It’s ok to lie when someone experiences something amazing- like a sexy new boyfriend or girlfriend. I may want to yell and scream at them that it’s not fair that they get what I can’t have because I have bipolar disorder! Instead I say what the non bipolar me would say.
Hahahah. I just made up a word!
I remind myself of how much I love the person who just found happiness and I say, ‘I’m jealous, but so happy for you.”
Julie A. Fast is the author of Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder, Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder, Get It Done When You’re Depressed, and The Health Cards Treatment System for Bipolar Disorder. She is a columnist and blogger for bp Magazine, and she won the Mental Health America journalism award for the best mental health column in the US. Julie was also the recipient of the Eli Lilly Reintegration Achievement Award for her work in bipolar disorder advocacy. Julie is a bipolar disorder expert for ShareCare, a site created by Dr. Oz and Oprah. Julie is CEU certified and regularly trains health care professionals, including psychiatric residents, social workers, therapists, and general practitioners, on bipolar disorder management skills. She was the original consultant for Claire Danes for the show Homeland and is on the mental health expert registry for People magazine. She works as a coach for parents and partners of people with bipolar disorder. Julie is currently writing a book for children called "Hortensia and the Magical Brain: Poems for Kids with Bipolar, Anxiety, Psychosis, and Depression." You can find more about her work at JulieFast.com and BipolarHappens.com.
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