5 Rules To Keep Your Manic Hypersexual Urges Under Control

Last Updated: 3 Jun 2019

Here are 5 tips to help you control your hypersexual urges before they control you.

Over the past few months, I’ve been getting an increased number of people on my blog that are curious as to how I’m able to keep my hypersexuality under control. For me, if I don’t stay focused, I’ll never be able to conquer it. Here are 5 rules I created for myself that have been a tremendous help to me over the past year:

Rule 1: Limit your triggers.

I’m not even kidding when I say this is the hardest one to do. Whenever an advertisement pops up on my computer or an erotic scene in a movie starts, I tend to get triggered really bad. What I’ve learned to do is avoid them. That means change the channel, avoid those websites, or switch the radio station. It also mean that I can never watch some of my favorite movies ever again. It’s the world I’ve come to accept if I don’t want my bipolar II to take over my life.

Rule 2: Write your feelings down.

This may come as a shock to many of you but I hated writing. I honestly did. I was never the kind of person who would journal or even read. It wasn’t until I started to blog about 9 months ago that I realized exactly how helpful it was. It felt freeing to get all the bipolar clutter out of my head.

Rule 3: Contact your medical professionals.

Please don’t ignore the early signs and pretend you can handle them! I know how ridiculously tempting it is to just “ride the wave” and hold onto the mania. No one wants to let go of the natural bipolar high we get. Sooner or later though, the mania takes over your brain and makes you do things you would never do stable. Don’t wait until it’s too late. Get medical help as soon as possible. If necessary, check yourself into the emergency room. Do whatever you can to make sure the situation doesn’t spin out of control.

Rule 4: Call someone.

As soon as you start to feel tempted to act out, call a friend or family member. I can’t emphasize this enough! You are powerless against the unearthly draw of a brain malfunction gone haywire. Your primal instincts are trying to make you do things that are destructive to your health and well-being. Unfortunately, you cannot do it alone. You just can’t. You need a third party outside of your brain to set you back on track. Reach out to people in your life who care about you and know your goals for the way you want to live.

Rule 5: Keep your goal always in mind.

You may be doing it to stay faithful to a spouse or partner. You may be doing it to protect your children. You also may be doing it to protect yourself from physical or legal ramifications. Whatever your reason, stay focused on the end goal. If you want to live a life free the bondage of acting out, then you need to concentrate on the initial reasons you stopped in the first place. Those are your true beliefs regardless of how you may feel right now. Don’t ever lose sight of them.

If you follow these guidelines, you’ll be much better off. This doesn’t mean that the urges will go away or that you won’t be tempted ever again. All it means is that you have control over the mania rather than the mania having control over you. What helps me keep things in perspective is equating my hypersexuality to a bear in a cardboard cage. When that bear wakes up, there is nothing I can physically do to stop the bear from tearing that cage apart and going on a rampage. I need help. Once you accept that you are powerless over the lust, it becomes a battle of wits versus brute strength. You are far more capable of outmaneuvering the problem rather than facing it head on.

Remember, you are force to be reckoned with. Bipolar has no power over you. Don’t be afraid rather step up and take charge of your life. Your behavior is a symptom of an illness.

Don’t let the symptoms take over and ruin your life.

About the author
​Jess Melancholia is a bipolar blogger who resides in San Diego, California with her husband and cat. All throughout college, she struggled with depression and anxiety. She found it extremely difficult to balance school, work, and singing in her university gospel choir. This pattern continued after graduation for years with short intervals of hypomania scattered in between. Only when her father, a Navy veteran, was diagnosed with PTSD and Major Depression did she look into her own mental health. In May of 2014, she was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder 2. She experienced her first major manic episode in January 2015. For 9 months, her mania kept increasing and was left unnoticed and untreated. During this time, she struggled with hypersexuality. When her mania subsided, she crashed into a severe depression and became suicidal. It was after this that she did intensive outpatient therapy and started to blog about her struggles with bipolar disorder. Since coming to terms with her illness, she has found the strength to take charge of her health and be more proactive in managing her triggers. Nowadays, through medication and a strong support system, she works tirelessly to live a “normal” life and keep her manic and depressive episodes under control. Her favorite hobby is playing horror video games. Her daytime profession is a molecular biologist at a biotechnology company. She writes for The Huffington Post and The International Bipolar Foundation. She also writes about her personal journey on her blog, The Bipolar Compass.
  1. Jess, thank you so much for writing about this topic. I also have bi polar and PTSD. I was diagnosed about 15 years ago. I am 100 percent med compliant and see my psychiatrist about every 4 weeks. I struggle with Hypersexuality constantly. I always feel “turned on”, I am married, but my problem is my husband and I have what is commonly referred to as a sexless marriage. He does not want to have sex at all ever. We are just room mates, we have been married for 30 years but have not had sex for the past 10. We have separate bedrooms. I do not work because of my bi polar and severe anxiety, but I need health insurance so I can have access to my Dr and many medications. He has a well paying job with excellent benefits so I can afford to stay home. That is why I stay with him. I fantasize about cheating but I know I would get caught, at the same time I feel hopeless, stuck in a loveless marriage with no way out. I am too ashamed to talk about this with my Dr and I’m not sure a med change would help anyway. Like the other posters I compulsively masturbate several times a day and at night while I’m trying to sleep. I love sex and I miss it. I feel like I’ll never have sex again and being Hypersexual just makes it worse. Please keep writing about THIS, it is a real problem, thanks

    1. I am in the same boat, as Rose.

  2. Until now im 27 still suffering from hipersexuallity problems i don’t know what can i do

  3. I just looked up herbs to decrease libido, then I found this article. Oh how those words resound in me, even reading it has calmed that anxiety. Also doing the multi times a day masturbating, and feeding it with triggers, like I can’t stop. Unlike the comment above where the guy doesn’t get how you have to avoid all triggers, I so get it, as in SO! I’ve just moved country, thrown out of Australia when visa ended, now in U.K., you can’t really walk up to anyone and say could I just play with your body, so you try to hide it..anyway, I just wanted to say thank you for writing this. Words I needed to hear, as it were. I was so flat, the world grey, and then Pinterest started offering me raw flesh and I took the bait. I’m Christian yet so considering buying a sex doll, or going for a full body massage, it’s so exploding in me. I know it’ll go away, but I’ve so struggled to maintain my sanity the last months that its blasting out in sexuality. I size up every woman I see as to whether I could bring myself to, really consuming! Kinda embarrassed to go the medical route, but got to do something. Again thank you for writing this.

  4. Morning, I don’t have a clue what i have but for the last 7 years now so since 2010 when i get a sexual urge i have to act on it. Weather that be masterbating a few times a day getting sex from my lady but when my urge hits alot if the time at night right before bed or first thing in the morning an there so strong i can’t controle myself an i must have that “sexual-hi” feeling/ release to feel normal again.

    Its now got to the point where im scaring myself cuz im blacking out and can’t remember what I’ve done during those times. My lady has enformed me that atleast 3 or 4 times a week i try to have sex with her in her sleep & our relationship is at ropes end cuz of my problems an I’ve been told I’ve taken advantage of her while she was sleeping but alot of it i don’t remember until I’ve gotten off than everything that happened to that point has rushed into my mind and im apologetic and trying to make up for what i have done.
    Idk if im dealing with this form of “bipoler/ hypersexuality” but after reading everything i keep coming back to this same topic….. I have made a phone call thia morning to go talk to a Doctor an maybe a theropist as well might be needed but i really need some help before i destroy my relationship or worce becomes of me cuz of this.

  5. Since childhood I been struggling with bipolar illness.I have been depressed most of the yard of my life.I am on medication for the last thirty three years.I am going through maniac phase for the last ten years.Hipersexuality had never an issue until recent episodes.Will power is the tool which has come handy as I become dextrous using it against depression.Planning your day and sticking to it helps a lot.In India we become conditioned to self restraint in co-educational schools thus fighting back the hipersexuality.Like any other animal instincts like extreme hunger when you no money to buy the food.

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