Does Your Depression Cling to Pain from the Past? How to Break Free

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We can move beyond the negative, distressing events of our past—that is, if depression isn’t forcing us to relive these agonizing moments.

 

I have painful things in my past, just like everyone. And what I find is that depression makes it really difficult to move on from that past pain.

For example, let’s say there’s a breakup in my past, just like for most people. That’s fine. Breakups hurt. You mourn, you get over them, you move on. The thing about depression is I find it really clings to that pain. It clings to that breakup and doesn’t let me move past it.

It’s like a broken record of pain in my head that just keeps playing over and over and over so that I can’t take the next step.

I can’t take the step to just forget about it and move on. I can’t seem to do that.

What seems to happen is that depression looks for painful things from my past to remind me of, to actually repeat them in my brain saying “pain, pain, suffering.” It’s a weird thing. It’s a depression loop. It’s a depression loop that clings onto the past.

I find this really difficult. The only thing that I can think to do is talk back to that pain and say, “You’re in the past. I’m moving beyond you.”

And to talk to the depression and say, “I know you’re doing this. I know you’re bringing back this pain. I know it’s not reasonable. I know I need to be over it, I need to get over it. A reasonable amount of time has passed.”

That’s the only thing I can think to do about it but I hope you have better ideas. If you find that depression makes you cling to the pain of your past, let me know how you deal with it.

My name is Natasha Tracy and this is bp Magazine’s bpHope vlog

 

About the author
Natasha Tracy is an award-winning writer, speaker and consultant. She has written the acclaimed book, Lost Marbles: Insights into My Life with Depression and Bipolar and continues to write her own work on Bipolar Burble and elsewhere. She was also the proud recipient of the Beatrice Stern Media Award from Didi Hirsch in 2014. She works to bring quality, insightful and trusted information on bipolar disorder and other mental illnesses to the public. Natasha is considered a subject matter expert in bipolar disorder and her thoughts on it have been sought by the media and academics. Find Natasha’s book Lost Marbles on Amazon (via this link: http://amzn.to/2FsJ3aV) and find her work on Bipolar Burble (https://natashatracy.com/topic/bipolar-blog/), on Twitter (https://twitter.com/natasha_tracy), on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/BipolarBurble/), and on Google+ (https://plus.google.com/u/2/+NatashaTracy).
21 Comments
  1. When I am experiencing an “episode” in other words something or someone triggers me or I get overly stressed I become very agitated, horribly angry! So very angry i get scared of what I might do or who I might lash out at. The only thing that seems to help calm me down is my medical marijuana. I am in fear of losing my job because they do random testing So unfortunately that adds to my worries. It does work…its the only thing I have found to work. And Of course I also faithfully take my meds every day and I stay away from alcohol.

  2. Unfortunately I’m in that type of depressive state right now. Every single negative thought, relationships & every shitty thought or decision I’ve made I’m ruminating on daily for the past month. Music generally helps lift me-knowing that the song writer has experienced the feelings I have. But ya gotta put the music on! I haven’t even been able to do that. I’m putting a call into my Dr as soon as I post this. Hoping she can tweak my meds. Best to all of you?

  3. Thank you Natasha, short and sweet. I feel stuck in sadness and cant figure out why. There has been many crappy events happening this year for me and it’s been wearing me down. I will certainly try this.

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